In a twist nobody noticed coming, Vanilla Ice and Child Rock have emerged because the shock rockstars of the 12 months, with their “Woke is Whack” tour outpacing Taylor Swift’s much-hyped Eras Tour in ticket gross sales. It looks like ‘90s nostalgia, anti-woke sentiment, and a splash of cowboy rock have mixed to create the right storm of cultural disruption, a lot to the dismay of Swifties in every single place.
As soon as a staple of ‘90s rap and early 2000s rebellious country-rock, Vanilla Ice and Child Rock’s careers gave the impression to be cruising towards peaceable retirement—or no less than the occasional county truthful gig. However the dynamic duo, who many had left previously alongside beanie infants and AOL, are again with a vengeance, buying and selling of their throwback hits for what they name “a rise up in opposition to wokeness.” And it’s resonating big-time.
What began as a one-off collaboration between the 2 stars rapidly snowballed right into a full-fledged cultural motion that’s sweeping the nation. The “Woke is Whack” tour, named as a direct jab at political correctness and cancel tradition, has followers lining up across the block for an opportunity to relive the glory days of easier occasions—and easier beats.
Vanilla Ice, well-known for the long-lasting hit “Ice Ice Child,” and Child Rock, the raspy-voiced rap-rocker, have embraced their roles because the sudden figureheads of the anti-woke music scene. Their message is straightforward: cease taking the whole lot so critically, cease canceling individuals, and, for the love of all issues respectable, let individuals take pleasure in music with no political lecture.
“We’re out right here reminding folks that it’s okay to have enjoyable,” stated Vanilla Ice, adjusting his backward cap prefer it was 1992 over again. “Not the whole lot must be about strolling on eggshells. Generally, individuals simply wish to let unfastened and bear in mind when life wasn’t so uptight.”
Child Rock, recognized for his no-nonsense model, was extra direct: “Wokeness is ruining the nation and the music business. We’re right here to take it again and provides individuals a spot the place they’ll have a superb time, freed from all that PC rubbish.”
Whereas Ice and Rock (their new official nickname as a duo) are using the wave of anti-woke fervor, Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour is feeling the impression. As soon as the reigning queen of sold-out stadiums and record-breaking ticket gross sales, Swift has discovered herself in an sudden hunch as her ticket gross sales begin to stagnate.
The backlash from Swift’s political endorsement of Vice President Kamala Harris seems to be a significant factor within the downturn. Although Swift has lengthy been a beloved pop icon, her latest enterprise into political activism has left some followers feeling alienated. What was as soon as a sea of screaming Swifties has turn into a couple of scattered pockets of followers, with ticket gross sales reportedly plummeting after her extremely publicized endorsement.
“I like Taylor, however I simply can’t do it anymore,” stated one disillusioned former fan. “I wish to go to a live performance to flee all of the noise, to not hear extra of it. And now Vanilla Ice and Child Rock are providing me that escape, so yeah, I’ll be going to their live performance as a substitute.”
The sudden rivalry between the “Woke is Whack” tour and Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour isn’t nearly music—it’s about what each excursions characterize. On one aspect, Swift is leaning into her picture as an artist who stands for social justice, equality, and progressive beliefs. On the opposite aspect, Vanilla Ice and Child Rock are positioning themselves because the champions of anti-cancel tradition, unapologetically giving the center finger to the concept of strolling on eggshells round delicate matters.
“We’re giving individuals a spot to have a superb time with out getting a lecture on politics,” Child Rock stated. “That’s why we’re promoting out, and that’s why Taylor’s not. Persons are drained, man. They only wish to jam.”
Swift’s choice to throw her assist behind Kamala Harris, whereas praised by some, has clearly alienated others. The previous queen of pop has discovered herself in a battle for relevance, with some followers suggesting she ought to keep on with music and go away the political commentary to the pundits. Within the meantime, “Woke is Whack” is putting a chord with those that really feel left behind by the present cultural local weather.
Whereas Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour merchandise is emblazoned with empowering slogans and messages of unity, Ice and Rock have taken a distinct strategy. Their live performance merch options phrases like “Woke is a Joke” and “Make Music Enjoyable Once more,” with a decidedly tongue-in-cheek strategy to political correctness. And followers can’t appear to get sufficient of it.
The irony of two musicians who made their names with rebellious, typically controversial music main an anti-woke cost isn’t misplaced on anybody. However for his or her followers, that’s precisely the purpose. Child Rock and Vanilla Ice have at all times been about pushing boundaries, and now they’ve taken that ethos to the subsequent stage.
“We’ve at all times been the outcasts, and now we’re the anti-woke warriors,” Vanilla Ice stated. “We’re not right here to harm anybody’s emotions, however we’re additionally not right here to child anybody. If you wish to get offended, go someplace else. We’re right here to have enjoyable.”
With Ice and Rock’s tour persevering with to promote out throughout the nation, Taylor Swift is left at a crossroads. Her once-unbreakable reign as pop’s prime star has proven cracks, and regardless that she nonetheless has thousands and thousands of loyal followers, the shift in public temper is inconceivable to disregard. Swift has already made strikes to recapture a few of the magic by providing meet-and-greets and unique content material to spice up ticket gross sales, however it might not be sufficient to win again the disillusioned.
Her political involvement, whereas resonating along with her core base, could also be driving informal followers towards the extra carefree environment of the “Woke is Whack” tour. Whether or not Swift chooses to double down on her activism or retreat to her pop roots stays to be seen, however she is clearly going through the hardest problem of her profession.
In the meantime, Vanilla Ice and Child Rock are basking within the glow of their sudden success. Rumors of an prolonged tour and even a collaborative album are circulating, because the duo continues to make headlines for his or her irreverent strategy to trendy tradition.
With each sold-out present, Ice and Rock are proving that typically, individuals simply wish to overlook in regards to the world for a short while. And whereas Taylor Swift could be the queen of pop, it appears, for now, Vanilla Ice and Child Rock are the kings of the anti-woke motion.
Because the “Woke is Whack” tour barrels on, one factor is obvious: nostalgia is highly effective, and when mixed with a dose of rise up, it may outsell even the most important pop stars. For followers of Ice and Rock, the message is straightforward—go away your politics on the door and simply benefit from the music.
Within the phrases of Vanilla Ice, “Wokeness melts, Ice is perpetually.”
NOTE: This is SATIRE, it’s not True.
